Divine Work?

My family attended a baptism this morning...friends of ours had a daughter (T) a few weeks after Nacho was born, and today they welcomed her into their faith. Watching this happen was quite lovely-I'd never witnessed this particular rite before, and especially nice was the fact that the baby's uncle (her mom's brother) was the priest who conducted the rite.

After the church service, we gathered at the family home for a small party. I knew almost all of the attendees, and was glad to see one set of T's grandparents again-I'd last seen them when I was about 38 weeks pregnant. T's grandad is a product of a midwestern 1950's upbringing. He and I certainly don't see eye to eye on a lot of things; I think if he knew what a tree-hugger I was he'd be surprised.

We've made some life choices for now that make it possible for me to stay home with Nacho. I feel strongly that right now, she needs to be with me as much as is reasonable, and I realize that that means trade offs (and I also realize that this isn't possible for everyone.) T's grandfather and I were talking about my choice to stay home and was unbelievably complementary. He said he was very proud that I'd make that choice in spite of being looked down on by other women of my generation for it, and that I was "doing the work that G-d gave me."

I don't particularly think of the decision to stay home with Nacho to be divine work or anything. And I don't think that this man meant it in the way that it sounds-in the whole "a woman's place is in the house, taking care of the family" kind of thing. I think what he meant is that children need parents who are there for them, to provide guidance, to nurture and to teach, to step in when needed. Or, as he put it, "to ask the questions-where are you going, who are you going with, when are you coming home, and to say no and set limits and boundaries."

But it's hard sometimes to remember the value in the choice we made. When I spend a good part of the day sitting under a sleeping baby because that's the only way she'll take a nap, and so the dishes don't get done, the laundry isn't folded, and dinner isn't started, and all the other little things aren't done, I wonder about how much good I'm really doing for my family.